Lewis Carroll Gonna Get Raped
When I was little, I loved Alice In Wonderland for its freaky imagery, and mind-bending poetry. When I was a teenager, I still loved it, but for its mushrooms and hookahs and hallucinogenic references. Now I love it as an adult, for its bent logic, and mostly nostalgia for having loved it as a child. Now I hear that Tim Burton is making a new Alice in Wonderland Movie, and I pretty much want to throw up.
Of course, part of me wants to hope that this will be the same Tim Burton who brought us Edward Scissorhands, Beetle Juice, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, and Ed Wood. I love that Tim Burton, but the last of those was almost 15 years ago. In case you still have any hope, the writer who will be adapting our child-loving genius’ book to the big screen is a visionary who brought us such great stories as Homeward Bound, The Lion King, and TV’s Ewoks and The Cartoon Adventures of Teen Wolf.
I think it’s safe to say that this movie will be coming from the bowels of the Tim Burton who brought us Corpse Bride and Planet of the Apes. Personally, I’d hold out greater hopes for the Alice adaptation being worked on by some nerd into self mutilation and having sex with pretend Bettie Page.
